(Blogger's Note: Well, another one bit the dust yesterday, as Fire M did a hatchet job execution on an employee they fought to keep just months ago. Now, this is not to say that the employee shouldn't have been terminated, that's the company's decision. But now there are shouts of racism from this employee. So let's do this. There seems to be enough calls to action here, 12 in all, plus enough upset customers to begin a class action suit. I have contacted an attorney that is willing to take the case. If you are interested in joining this please contact me through the comment section of this blog. I will not publish the comments but will contact you.)
When Danny Columbo threw his finished rendition of the training process on the conference room table, Trevor, Don Crane, and I, along with the general, and The Co Founder all looked at the project with a nod of approval. The team in India had assisted in the creation of a very marketable, saleable product and Columbo was aglow at his accomplishment. He had set about the project in July, completed it by September and was ready to launch, with a monetization model that worked as he had proven with his budget and projections.
Of course, the general had to urinate on the hydrant, immediately claiming the name That Columbo had devised for the program wasn't any good. Now of course the urinating on the hydrant general didn't know why it wasn't any good, it just wasn't because he didn't think of it.
"That name is awful. We have to change it." He said.
"We can't change it, we already sent out emails, marketing it." I said. We knew if we brought it to market without interference from the man who was rocking the boat we might have a winner on our hands.
"I don't care. The dealers are too stupid to read emails, anyway. Nobody saw it," the general said.
"If that be the case, why do we send out all these emails every week?" I asked.
"It's called Branding, John. We have to Brand the products."
After an hour of discussing the merits of his new idea, the training program – which we all referred to as the "Project Hijacking Process" – PHP, we agreed to do it his way.
Then he decided to delve into the numbers. Although it was introduced into the marketplace at one cost, the general immediately decided to raise the price since he had just gotten the financial statements from India and was short on payroll and had lost money for the 29th straight quarter.
At the same time the seven golf tournaments we had held were not sitting very well with the general. The Co founder kept claiming that they were money makers but nobody could produce contracts or revenue projects that would solidify his thinking. We all knew that at lunch the golf tournament was going to get rained out, the price for the training would be increased and discussion of the new company he was trying to buy would be discussed.
"Co-Founder, I think we should stop the golf tournaments. They are not paying for themselves."
said the general.
"General, how do you know that? W have not had any time to analyze the data." The Co Founder added.
"Well, I know they are costing us money and I have not seen anything come back. What am I supposed to do, continue to pay for you guys flying all over the country and playing golf. Danny, last week you stayed in a hotel that cost $96.00 a night. I told you not to spend more than $82.00 a night. Don, you did the same. Whatis going on here. I say we kill them. We certainly are not going to go to Pebble Beach." the general said, angrily.
"Oh, and by the way, we are not doing NADA this year. It never works. We get nothing out of it. I don't even want to see a budget for it. It's just your way of having a party for three days." the general said, looking at The Co Founder.
"And just so you know, I hate the name of the training program. Change it to "i" mething. They'll think we're part of Apple." he added.
"Hey, you, get me some winegar. I need winegar. Now."
Plase pass the Tums...
Tomorrow: NADA really does mean nada...
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
More Than Just This, That and Cufflinks
Danny Columbo was different. In an office where Blue jeans and t-shirts were the normal apparel of the day –signifying an Internet genre, Columbo appeared as though he had his own style collection. This became know as The Columbo Collection.
His style was so profound that the Co Founder made fun of the man and his ties, expensive suits and his trademark, cufflinks. Columbo was from the school of well dressed, professional auto dealers who were successful businessmen and not the "suckers" the general made them out to be when pricing his products or discussing them in meetings.
This didn't sit well with Columbo, or for anyone for that matter, but we all hoped that when the hybrid training system was completed the general may read it and take it to heart.
"Danny, this is a remarkable product. If this company used it for their foundation and sold their other products on top of this they would be much more successful." I said in a meeting one day as we worked on the first of five training manuals.
"Well, why don't you tell him that?" Columbo asked.
"Tell him that, are you nuts. I am a consultant. He doesn't listen to me. He just uses me to for my ideas and then steals them. He'll do the same with you. Eventually, he'll be pissing on your hydrant, taking your ideas, tweaking them so they look like his and fucking them up. He's doing it with the golf tournament right now."
"How so?" asked Columbo.
"Well, it’s a scam. Do you ever think anyone is ever going to go to Pebble Beach? There is never going to be a Pebble Beach in this company. It will never come to fruition. He will claim that the response wasn't good enough. He's cheap. You know that."
"Yeah, he is cheap. That's for sure," agreed Columbo.
Cheap however was not the problem with the general. Everyone has financial problems when they begin a company. However, they make sure the billing and the products that they are selling are worthy of being billed and that the billing they are doing is legitimate.
It wasn't long after the training program was developed, and was launched with a name that was catchy, described the product and was easily brand able that the general decided the product wasn't very strong. This if course had little to do with the fact that Columbo was essentially a one man show and could develop, train, sell, brand and promote the product without any help from the general and his crack engineering team.
The general saw this as a liability and soon decided to get involved in the training process and procedures in an attempt to reign in his new WeePee of Training.
And, since Columbo had come from an Irvine California company that was readying to sell of a division, the general decided to march on that division and make a move for that company.
Columbo now played an important role in those negotiations. Of course, this process was not without turmoil. Unfortunately for the general, he had his wrist slapped because he thought since one of the ex WeePees of Irvine company worked for him he could raid the coffers of employees without being noticed. Yet his reputation preceded itself and jumping ship for many employees of the other company was not in the cards.
While the general was screwing up the company in America with grandiose plans for fantasy expansion – which included new office space with kitchens and game tables and IKEA cubicles to give the air of a real Internet company, he was filtering his brother in Bangalore- who was the generals only saving grace- a crock of crap that any real investor with an audit committee with see through. Smoke and Mirrors was obviously the financial investment criteria of the day and somehow, somewhere, enough people kicked in enough money to shore up the losses for another decade. Unless someone accepted his offer to buy anything…
Tomorrow: With golf is sputtering its time for the Dawn Fitzpatrick Cape Cod Tournament, or was it New Hampshire?
His style was so profound that the Co Founder made fun of the man and his ties, expensive suits and his trademark, cufflinks. Columbo was from the school of well dressed, professional auto dealers who were successful businessmen and not the "suckers" the general made them out to be when pricing his products or discussing them in meetings.
This didn't sit well with Columbo, or for anyone for that matter, but we all hoped that when the hybrid training system was completed the general may read it and take it to heart.
"Danny, this is a remarkable product. If this company used it for their foundation and sold their other products on top of this they would be much more successful." I said in a meeting one day as we worked on the first of five training manuals.
"Well, why don't you tell him that?" Columbo asked.
"Tell him that, are you nuts. I am a consultant. He doesn't listen to me. He just uses me to for my ideas and then steals them. He'll do the same with you. Eventually, he'll be pissing on your hydrant, taking your ideas, tweaking them so they look like his and fucking them up. He's doing it with the golf tournament right now."
"How so?" asked Columbo.
"Well, it’s a scam. Do you ever think anyone is ever going to go to Pebble Beach? There is never going to be a Pebble Beach in this company. It will never come to fruition. He will claim that the response wasn't good enough. He's cheap. You know that."
"Yeah, he is cheap. That's for sure," agreed Columbo.
Cheap however was not the problem with the general. Everyone has financial problems when they begin a company. However, they make sure the billing and the products that they are selling are worthy of being billed and that the billing they are doing is legitimate.
It wasn't long after the training program was developed, and was launched with a name that was catchy, described the product and was easily brand able that the general decided the product wasn't very strong. This if course had little to do with the fact that Columbo was essentially a one man show and could develop, train, sell, brand and promote the product without any help from the general and his crack engineering team.
The general saw this as a liability and soon decided to get involved in the training process and procedures in an attempt to reign in his new WeePee of Training.
And, since Columbo had come from an Irvine California company that was readying to sell of a division, the general decided to march on that division and make a move for that company.
Columbo now played an important role in those negotiations. Of course, this process was not without turmoil. Unfortunately for the general, he had his wrist slapped because he thought since one of the ex WeePees of Irvine company worked for him he could raid the coffers of employees without being noticed. Yet his reputation preceded itself and jumping ship for many employees of the other company was not in the cards.
While the general was screwing up the company in America with grandiose plans for fantasy expansion – which included new office space with kitchens and game tables and IKEA cubicles to give the air of a real Internet company, he was filtering his brother in Bangalore- who was the generals only saving grace- a crock of crap that any real investor with an audit committee with see through. Smoke and Mirrors was obviously the financial investment criteria of the day and somehow, somewhere, enough people kicked in enough money to shore up the losses for another decade. Unless someone accepted his offer to buy anything…
Tomorrow: With golf is sputtering its time for the Dawn Fitzpatrick Cape Cod Tournament, or was it New Hampshire?
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
There isno reason Columbo can't save the company
There is a saying in business that successful businessmen should live by: "Don't ever belief your own press releases." Unfortunately, the general had never understood those words and was developing such an inflated ego he was beginning to think people actually liked him.
Of course, through his constant email campaigns and continual berating of those who would cower like a very unLucky dog, his narcissistic personality and ego was becoming inflated to the point of a little man on Extenz, that new pill that supposedly cures the little man personality complex.
When Danny Columbo walked through the door there was an air of relief. A professional that might serve as a buffer, a go between general electrified and the rest of the staff. We all hoped, especially the women in the company, that Columbo could talk some sense into the general so he would increase customer support to two or three people, would shore up the Mudmaker staff to more than a singularly manned department, and would take heed in the training program that Columbo was developing.
While the dysfunctional dupe paraded around India as the general and co founder, Cane, Columbo, Landem and Delirious diligently worked through the unorganization of the office to develop sales procedures, training manuals and combat the dysfunctionality of the iTunes queen, Ewa, and the bookkeeper, Notmisscampbell.
The progress of the training program, a hybrid of sorts, was injecting hope into a staff that was as deflated as a New Year's Eve balloon on January 3rd. End of the month's were always bad. In an attempt to build up the numbers, the general would berate and threaten the Co Founder into pounding out contracts from dealers, used car lots, or even single sale enterprises so the balance sheet would look good. Whether the money was ever collected mattered not as the book keeping was so fouled and out of sync with normal accounting practices that the developers of QuickBooks couldn't have figured out the system. How could a team of Indian accountants, book keepers and ny=umber guru's not understand book keeping principles?
Each month-end you could hear The Co Founder pounding desks, screaming about numbers and writing hysterically on the dry erase board as though he were on the Chicago Mercantile Floor encouraging buys, sells, puts and shorts from his partially professional, partially confused team in the field. And since the general couldn't launch a watch on time, the Co Founder was constantly behind the eight ball but never near the corner pocket. On top of that, since the products that appeared after the smoke and mirrors cleared were all intangible, the only real sales tool were the monthly power point reports - that were seldom delivered to the client. However, they were some of the most professional looking reports ever constructed as they were one product leaving Bangalore that shined in the doom and gloom of non performance.
B ut alas, Columbo had a tangible product that could immediately produce results and revenue that General Managers and dealer principals could see, and feel, and count. Finally a results driven product that would bring dollars to the bottom line of the dealerships and the Company. Columbo could be the man of the hour and save the entire operation. And, the general knew this. With that in mind, the general decided to parlay his latest creation into the purchase of another company, one that would bring a rspectable name to his stable. Yes, he was in a buying mode, using the business tactic that by acquition revenues increase making the company look stronger.
And since Columbo's product was quickly launch able - it was based on knowledge, training, tools, and implementation - and it could be billed immediately it was the perfect tool to build on. Plus, it could all be accomplished in the USA.
Just think, an Indian company with an American made product. Oops, I shouldn't have suggested that.
Tomorrow: The general gets India involved in that.
Of course, through his constant email campaigns and continual berating of those who would cower like a very unLucky dog, his narcissistic personality and ego was becoming inflated to the point of a little man on Extenz, that new pill that supposedly cures the little man personality complex.
When Danny Columbo walked through the door there was an air of relief. A professional that might serve as a buffer, a go between general electrified and the rest of the staff. We all hoped, especially the women in the company, that Columbo could talk some sense into the general so he would increase customer support to two or three people, would shore up the Mudmaker staff to more than a singularly manned department, and would take heed in the training program that Columbo was developing.
While the dysfunctional dupe paraded around India as the general and co founder, Cane, Columbo, Landem and Delirious diligently worked through the unorganization of the office to develop sales procedures, training manuals and combat the dysfunctionality of the iTunes queen, Ewa, and the bookkeeper, Notmisscampbell.
The progress of the training program, a hybrid of sorts, was injecting hope into a staff that was as deflated as a New Year's Eve balloon on January 3rd. End of the month's were always bad. In an attempt to build up the numbers, the general would berate and threaten the Co Founder into pounding out contracts from dealers, used car lots, or even single sale enterprises so the balance sheet would look good. Whether the money was ever collected mattered not as the book keeping was so fouled and out of sync with normal accounting practices that the developers of QuickBooks couldn't have figured out the system. How could a team of Indian accountants, book keepers and ny=umber guru's not understand book keeping principles?
Each month-end you could hear The Co Founder pounding desks, screaming about numbers and writing hysterically on the dry erase board as though he were on the Chicago Mercantile Floor encouraging buys, sells, puts and shorts from his partially professional, partially confused team in the field. And since the general couldn't launch a watch on time, the Co Founder was constantly behind the eight ball but never near the corner pocket. On top of that, since the products that appeared after the smoke and mirrors cleared were all intangible, the only real sales tool were the monthly power point reports - that were seldom delivered to the client. However, they were some of the most professional looking reports ever constructed as they were one product leaving Bangalore that shined in the doom and gloom of non performance.
B ut alas, Columbo had a tangible product that could immediately produce results and revenue that General Managers and dealer principals could see, and feel, and count. Finally a results driven product that would bring dollars to the bottom line of the dealerships and the Company. Columbo could be the man of the hour and save the entire operation. And, the general knew this. With that in mind, the general decided to parlay his latest creation into the purchase of another company, one that would bring a rspectable name to his stable. Yes, he was in a buying mode, using the business tactic that by acquition revenues increase making the company look stronger.
And since Columbo's product was quickly launch able - it was based on knowledge, training, tools, and implementation - and it could be billed immediately it was the perfect tool to build on. Plus, it could all be accomplished in the USA.
Just think, an Indian company with an American made product. Oops, I shouldn't have suggested that.
Tomorrow: The general gets India involved in that.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Danny Columbo Could save the Day
(Blogger's Note: I would like to ask all of those posting comments to refrain from using real names since there isno reason to get vicious, insulting, and personal on a blog forum that is fictional. Plus, we all know that real people, in the real world of business do not act like the characters in this blog. I mean come on, $60,000.00 on a Mercedes you can barely see over the steering wheel in and then cheat your employees out of commission. Please, get real. On top of that the person then promises to give "the wife" a car so she won't go back to India. That is all fiction. It's out of a Jeffrey Archer styled novel. No company president, or better yet, chariman of the board, would allow someone to hold a leadership position in a company if that ever happened in the real world – unless of course he was padding the books through irresponsible book keeping practices.
When Don Crane walked in the office the few employees that came into the office on a regular basis were interested in how he would change the dysfunctional relationship that the duo – general electrified and The Co Founder had established.
Odds are, many said, that Don would be sucked into the crossfires of the idea thief and the "yes" man. However, when Danny Columbo showed up and joined the company with new ideas and a satchel full of projectors, gadgets, gizmos, trinkets and toys, there was excitement and a buzz around the office that finally the duo would listen to the new group of intelligent people who each had eperience in the real world. Word spread quickly throughout the corporate headquarters and the field that an automotive professional had joined the team and suddenly training would have structure, substance, focus and integrity. A new day was on the horizon.
It didn't take long for Danny to learn the ropes. Soon after his arrival the Dysfuntional duo headed off to Bangalore to check resources and to act busy. It was actually one of the frequent trips to India to check the books and make sure the accounting was being done correctly. With loan apps at the bank the books had to sparkle. At least the pages needed to look in order.
But back in the states Columbo was investigating the opportunity of a new program development that would offer dealers Internet sales training for the departments that so many dealers had developed to handle the leads being generated by this new advertising media.
Plus, if the dealerships really bought the smoke and mirror package, with the mudmaker add on they were all worried that they would need some help or else they would lose all the leads coming in the door.
Columbo came to the company with years of experience both in the world of dealerships and in the automotive Internet sphere. He had worked for a successful company that had numerous divisions that dealt with delearships large and small. However, the plan he had for training dealers and marketing the services was something of a brainchild Columbo had developed while on the plan from Southern California to the San Francisco offices.
I'll never forget the first time he explained the scenario to me.
"You're going to love this," he said, "I have this plan for dealership training and it will revolutionize the industry. The process and procedure makes sense not only for the general managers, but also for the Internet sales managers and the sales people who are coming off the floor to sell over the Internet."
After a brief explanation and outline I was curious as to why Fire M didn't use this training for their staff of sales representatives. And, I also wanted know why the company was all over the board drifting in and out of processes and procedure for their product when they could adopt a training package, sell it to the dealers and add products on to the package as the dealer needed, increasing sales and profits.
"THAT is a great idea," said Trevor Landem, adding " It will never fly, these two won't implement an idea unless they come up with it." Or steal it.
Tomorrow: If you like that, You'll love this.
When Don Crane walked in the office the few employees that came into the office on a regular basis were interested in how he would change the dysfunctional relationship that the duo – general electrified and The Co Founder had established.
Odds are, many said, that Don would be sucked into the crossfires of the idea thief and the "yes" man. However, when Danny Columbo showed up and joined the company with new ideas and a satchel full of projectors, gadgets, gizmos, trinkets and toys, there was excitement and a buzz around the office that finally the duo would listen to the new group of intelligent people who each had eperience in the real world. Word spread quickly throughout the corporate headquarters and the field that an automotive professional had joined the team and suddenly training would have structure, substance, focus and integrity. A new day was on the horizon.
It didn't take long for Danny to learn the ropes. Soon after his arrival the Dysfuntional duo headed off to Bangalore to check resources and to act busy. It was actually one of the frequent trips to India to check the books and make sure the accounting was being done correctly. With loan apps at the bank the books had to sparkle. At least the pages needed to look in order.
But back in the states Columbo was investigating the opportunity of a new program development that would offer dealers Internet sales training for the departments that so many dealers had developed to handle the leads being generated by this new advertising media.
Plus, if the dealerships really bought the smoke and mirror package, with the mudmaker add on they were all worried that they would need some help or else they would lose all the leads coming in the door.
Columbo came to the company with years of experience both in the world of dealerships and in the automotive Internet sphere. He had worked for a successful company that had numerous divisions that dealt with delearships large and small. However, the plan he had for training dealers and marketing the services was something of a brainchild Columbo had developed while on the plan from Southern California to the San Francisco offices.
I'll never forget the first time he explained the scenario to me.
"You're going to love this," he said, "I have this plan for dealership training and it will revolutionize the industry. The process and procedure makes sense not only for the general managers, but also for the Internet sales managers and the sales people who are coming off the floor to sell over the Internet."
After a brief explanation and outline I was curious as to why Fire M didn't use this training for their staff of sales representatives. And, I also wanted know why the company was all over the board drifting in and out of processes and procedure for their product when they could adopt a training package, sell it to the dealers and add products on to the package as the dealer needed, increasing sales and profits.
"THAT is a great idea," said Trevor Landem, adding " It will never fly, these two won't implement an idea unless they come up with it." Or steal it.
Tomorrow: If you like that, You'll love this.
Friday, April 3, 2009
The Delerious Mudmaker Program
(Blogger's Note: Ah, Friday. Pizza Friday at Fire M headquarters. A very interesting comment was posted yesterday from an ex employee who worked at Fire M headquarters in India. We'll touch on this more on Monday after my sources give me the skinny on why the chubby cut bait and believing his propoganda. Remember the premise for Slumdog Millionaire when the host of the show turns on the contestant. The same holds true for Fire M, except you never know when yor the contestant. take The Co Founder, he has ben the subject of executive abuse for seven nine years and he still hasn't completely cracked. But I will say this, you can't blame Lady M -she is just taking orders from general electrified. His brittle defense, independently speaking, is that Da Bank needs to see numbers. And, since his numbers suck, he has to blame everyone else for not producing so his teflon persona is still shining with the board of directors. If the board would stop chasing windmills and analyze how many people were fired or have left the company they could then ascertain there is a problem from the top down, not the bottom up. There is an unwritten rule that generals never go to the front line but they do contribute something other than berating emails asking where are the Doritos. And I don't mean the brothers.)
But now back to today's tale.
When Don Cane showed up with thought there was light at the end of the tunnel. general electrified refused to take advice from anyone of his consultants or employees. He would immediately absorb the information and offer his standard "We'll take a decision on this tomorrow." That was code for "I am going to take your idea, tell you it will not work, file it and then reintroduce it as my own in a few weeks."
When I was first informed of this process by The Co Founder and later the lead salesperson in the company's west coast office, Trevor Landem, I thought the two guys were just frustrated with the non progress of the company. However, after Don Cane, the CO Founder and Trevor all began to speak the same language I had believed them.
"Trevor, how long have you been here?" I asked one day when general electrified and The Co Founder were in India with Don Cane.
"Almost since the beginning. And it has been very interesting. These guys are lost. We need to get some executives in here to straighten them out." Trevor said.
"Well, Don looks like he might be a good guy." I added.
"Oh, Don's great. It's not the employees; it's the Co-Founder and the general. They don't have a clue. The Co Founder gets thrown out of every dealership he goes into because he's so rude and the Co Founder thinks everyone is beneath him. You can't run a company like that. Your customers have to come first."
"Trevor, you sound a little frustrated?"
"Frustrated. I have seven sites waiting to get done. They are six months behind on a simple web site. Delirious, over there is so far behind on SEO marketing that we are charging dealers for nice reports, confusing them and telling them if they don't pay we'll shut them off. That would be lucky."
Delirious, the Mudmaker program manager that program hyped as the savior of the auto industry. The copycat application was so employee heavy that the product couldn't turn a profit. However, general electrified did do one thing right – he utilized his talented graphic department in Bangalore to develop power point reports filled with data and charts that would confuse most dealers.
If it weren't for the craft, skill and dedication of the graphic team in India, there isno reason that Fire M could brag about product.
But with Don Cane in place, supposedly capturing the reigns of pseudo power from The Co Founder, with Trevor Landem still selling and handling customers, with Eddie Moringer on the east coast and what the Co Founder referred to as his girls in the northwest, Midwest and the Heartland things seemed to be moving in the right direction.
Although the golf tournaments were shaky, attendance poor, and sales were down, there was hope on the horizon. And it all had to with training. You're gonna love this.
"Mike, could you pass me a slice of sundried tomato"....
Monday: Danny Columbo walks out of the flame, into the fire.
But now back to today's tale.
When Don Cane showed up with thought there was light at the end of the tunnel. general electrified refused to take advice from anyone of his consultants or employees. He would immediately absorb the information and offer his standard "We'll take a decision on this tomorrow." That was code for "I am going to take your idea, tell you it will not work, file it and then reintroduce it as my own in a few weeks."
When I was first informed of this process by The Co Founder and later the lead salesperson in the company's west coast office, Trevor Landem, I thought the two guys were just frustrated with the non progress of the company. However, after Don Cane, the CO Founder and Trevor all began to speak the same language I had believed them.
"Trevor, how long have you been here?" I asked one day when general electrified and The Co Founder were in India with Don Cane.
"Almost since the beginning. And it has been very interesting. These guys are lost. We need to get some executives in here to straighten them out." Trevor said.
"Well, Don looks like he might be a good guy." I added.
"Oh, Don's great. It's not the employees; it's the Co-Founder and the general. They don't have a clue. The Co Founder gets thrown out of every dealership he goes into because he's so rude and the Co Founder thinks everyone is beneath him. You can't run a company like that. Your customers have to come first."
"Trevor, you sound a little frustrated?"
"Frustrated. I have seven sites waiting to get done. They are six months behind on a simple web site. Delirious, over there is so far behind on SEO marketing that we are charging dealers for nice reports, confusing them and telling them if they don't pay we'll shut them off. That would be lucky."
Delirious, the Mudmaker program manager that program hyped as the savior of the auto industry. The copycat application was so employee heavy that the product couldn't turn a profit. However, general electrified did do one thing right – he utilized his talented graphic department in Bangalore to develop power point reports filled with data and charts that would confuse most dealers.
If it weren't for the craft, skill and dedication of the graphic team in India, there isno reason that Fire M could brag about product.
But with Don Cane in place, supposedly capturing the reigns of pseudo power from The Co Founder, with Trevor Landem still selling and handling customers, with Eddie Moringer on the east coast and what the Co Founder referred to as his girls in the northwest, Midwest and the Heartland things seemed to be moving in the right direction.
Although the golf tournaments were shaky, attendance poor, and sales were down, there was hope on the horizon. And it all had to with training. You're gonna love this.
"Mike, could you pass me a slice of sundried tomato"....
Monday: Danny Columbo walks out of the flame, into the fire.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
He who caste the first stone
(Blogger's Note: If you happen to work for a company with offices in San Francisco and Bangalore, who has an owner who flies who has not had a smooth product launch since Orville Wright landed, who thinks employees are idiots, customers suckers and American's stupid, do not read this blog on company time or on a browser that uses one of the guy's servers - he's having your browsers tracked. When paranoia sets in the truth must really hurt.)
Here' the drill for Fire M - 40 calls a day, 5 days a week. that's 200 calls a week. Multiply that by 30 sales people and you have 600 calls a week. With 20,000 automotive dealers across the country every one of them would have been called in less than three months. The boiler room operation that general electrified developed with the help of The Co Founder was similar to dialing for dollars. However, the effectiveness of it was ridiculously callous. To make matters worse, an Indian call-center would make inroductory calls, while reading from a script written by a writer who knew nothing about the auto industry.
The marketing and sales plan that general electrified implemented with the help of The Co Founder, when they first stated selling outside of their region made throwing a dart at a map to define a location look almost scientific. They were fortunate enough to hire two professional salespeople who both had automotive experience - one o n the east coast and one on the west coast. But rather than listen to the two of them general electrified prodded The Co Founder to abuse the two of them as though they were all part of some Caste Society that general electrified oversaw.
You may be able to take the boy out of the caste, but you can't stop him from casting stones and abusive insults.
When Don Cane joined the company his job was defined on the map on his wall. Until 2005 nobody in the company researched dealer penetration, need, competition or even how many dealers were Inernet savvy. It was strictly a seat of the pants operation that charged premium prices for subterreanean products.
And, since their was no [ublished rate card, evey dealer or dealer group paid a different amount of money.
When cane joined the company, two essential elements began to form: Cane charted a course with some semblance of organization and he decided to hire trainable people who could carry the message to the dealers. For once there was light at the end of the tunnel and we thought general electrified might finally play a role in what he claimed he was good at- customer support which was failing so rapidly it was costing the company clients, compensation, and future customers.
And, there isno reason for that.
Here' the drill for Fire M - 40 calls a day, 5 days a week. that's 200 calls a week. Multiply that by 30 sales people and you have 600 calls a week. With 20,000 automotive dealers across the country every one of them would have been called in less than three months. The boiler room operation that general electrified developed with the help of The Co Founder was similar to dialing for dollars. However, the effectiveness of it was ridiculously callous. To make matters worse, an Indian call-center would make inroductory calls, while reading from a script written by a writer who knew nothing about the auto industry.
The marketing and sales plan that general electrified implemented with the help of The Co Founder, when they first stated selling outside of their region made throwing a dart at a map to define a location look almost scientific. They were fortunate enough to hire two professional salespeople who both had automotive experience - one o n the east coast and one on the west coast. But rather than listen to the two of them general electrified prodded The Co Founder to abuse the two of them as though they were all part of some Caste Society that general electrified oversaw.
You may be able to take the boy out of the caste, but you can't stop him from casting stones and abusive insults.
When Don Cane joined the company his job was defined on the map on his wall. Until 2005 nobody in the company researched dealer penetration, need, competition or even how many dealers were Inernet savvy. It was strictly a seat of the pants operation that charged premium prices for subterreanean products.
And, since their was no [ublished rate card, evey dealer or dealer group paid a different amount of money.
When cane joined the company, two essential elements began to form: Cane charted a course with some semblance of organization and he decided to hire trainable people who could carry the message to the dealers. For once there was light at the end of the tunnel and we thought general electrified might finally play a role in what he claimed he was good at- customer support which was failing so rapidly it was costing the company clients, compensation, and future customers.
And, there isno reason for that.
No Day at The Beach
After numerous emails and snail mail invitations to potential customers in the company's backyard- San Francisco – the company managed to beg, borrow and plead for 16 participants. Thanks to Don Cane there were contests and prizes at every hole and on the morning of the tournament it appeared that the response from the auto dealers in the Bay Area was better than expected. The Livermore Valley course proved to be a challenge for the golfers and the representatives of the company.
Of course, general electrified didn't show up to golf and only made an appearance at about 3:00 p.m. Naturally, his first question was whether we had sold anything as he thought it would be normal for a group of golfers to sign up for smoke and mirror products between swings.
Needless to say the golf tournaments – only eight of them- turned out to be a disaster. And since the company had no sales tracking to speak of, general electrified said they didn't bring in any revenue and The Co-Founder continues to profess they were the best promotion the company ever had. Both may be right. And of course, nobody ever went to Pebble Beach- a sham of sorts- but that's the foundation of this fictional company.
And the company, Fire M, an acronym for Fictional Results Marketing, is based on smoke and mirror products.
To Fire M's advantage, there is a serious disconnect between many automotive dealers and the Internet. For two guys who knew absolutely nothing about the automotive industry except that they wanted to eventually buy luxury cars, (general electric can barely drive, there is a victim in India who will second that statement, if he were able), it is remarkable they have grown Fire M to the proportion they have. This isn't because of the products the company offers or the sales tools they offer their sales team. The Fire M success story is based on the fact that auto dealers were at first hesitant of the Internet and then they were enamored by it once they felt they were falling behind the competition.
Hence a handful of companies, Fire M included, began to gain ground in the automotive community. And while the dealers fell for the products, sales pitches, contracts that were being sold, the manufacturers turned their backs on many of the companies that were throwing their hats into the ring.
So when general electrified refers to potential clients as "suckers" he isn't far off the mark.
Tomorrow: How Fire M mapped out their territories.
Of course, general electrified didn't show up to golf and only made an appearance at about 3:00 p.m. Naturally, his first question was whether we had sold anything as he thought it would be normal for a group of golfers to sign up for smoke and mirror products between swings.
Needless to say the golf tournaments – only eight of them- turned out to be a disaster. And since the company had no sales tracking to speak of, general electrified said they didn't bring in any revenue and The Co-Founder continues to profess they were the best promotion the company ever had. Both may be right. And of course, nobody ever went to Pebble Beach- a sham of sorts- but that's the foundation of this fictional company.
And the company, Fire M, an acronym for Fictional Results Marketing, is based on smoke and mirror products.
To Fire M's advantage, there is a serious disconnect between many automotive dealers and the Internet. For two guys who knew absolutely nothing about the automotive industry except that they wanted to eventually buy luxury cars, (general electric can barely drive, there is a victim in India who will second that statement, if he were able), it is remarkable they have grown Fire M to the proportion they have. This isn't because of the products the company offers or the sales tools they offer their sales team. The Fire M success story is based on the fact that auto dealers were at first hesitant of the Internet and then they were enamored by it once they felt they were falling behind the competition.
Hence a handful of companies, Fire M included, began to gain ground in the automotive community. And while the dealers fell for the products, sales pitches, contracts that were being sold, the manufacturers turned their backs on many of the companies that were throwing their hats into the ring.
So when general electrified refers to potential clients as "suckers" he isn't far off the mark.
Tomorrow: How Fire M mapped out their territories.
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