There isno reason Columbo can't save the company

There is a saying in business that successful businessmen should live by: "Don't ever belief your own press releases." Unfortunately, the general had never understood those words and was developing such an inflated ego he was beginning to think people actually liked him.

Of course, through his constant email campaigns and continual berating of those who would cower like a very unLucky dog, his narcissistic personality and ego was becoming inflated to the point of a little man on Extenz, that new pill that supposedly cures the little man personality complex.

When Danny Columbo walked through the door there was an air of relief. A professional that might serve as a buffer, a go between general electrified and the rest of the staff. We all hoped, especially the women in the company, that Columbo could talk some sense into the general so he would increase customer support to two or three people, would shore up the Mudmaker staff to more than a singularly manned department, and would take heed in the training program that Columbo was developing.

While the dysfunctional dupe paraded around India as the general and co founder, Cane, Columbo, Landem and Delirious diligently worked through the unorganization of the office to develop sales procedures, training manuals and combat the dysfunctionality of the iTunes queen, Ewa, and the bookkeeper, Notmisscampbell.

The progress of the training program, a hybrid of sorts, was injecting hope into a staff that was as deflated as a New Year's Eve balloon on January 3rd. End of the month's were always bad. In an attempt to build up the numbers, the general would berate and threaten the Co Founder into pounding out contracts from dealers, used car lots, or even single sale enterprises so the balance sheet would look good. Whether the money was ever collected mattered not as the book keeping was so fouled and out of sync with normal accounting practices that the developers of QuickBooks couldn't have figured out the system. How could a team of Indian accountants, book keepers and ny=umber guru's not understand book keeping principles?

Each month-end you could hear The Co Founder pounding desks, screaming about numbers and writing hysterically on the dry erase board as though he were on the Chicago Mercantile Floor encouraging buys, sells, puts and shorts from his partially professional, partially confused team in the field. And since the general couldn't launch a watch on time, the Co Founder was constantly behind the eight ball but never near the corner pocket. On top of that, since the products that appeared after the smoke and mirrors cleared were all intangible, the only real sales tool were the monthly power point reports - that were seldom delivered to the client. However, they were some of the most professional looking reports ever constructed as they were one product leaving Bangalore that shined in the doom and gloom of non performance.

B ut alas, Columbo had a tangible product that could immediately produce results and revenue that General Managers and dealer principals could see, and feel, and count. Finally a results driven product that would bring dollars to the bottom line of the dealerships and the Company. Columbo could be the man of the hour and save the entire operation. And, the general knew this. With that in mind, the general decided to parlay his latest creation into the purchase of another company, one that would bring a rspectable name to his stable. Yes, he was in a buying mode, using the business tactic that by acquition revenues increase making the company look stronger.
And since Columbo's product was quickly launch able - it was based on knowledge, training, tools, and implementation - and it could be billed immediately it was the perfect tool to build on. Plus, it could all be accomplished in the USA.

Just think, an Indian company with an American made product. Oops, I shouldn't have suggested that.

Tomorrow: The general gets India involved in that.